


He Sees You When You're Sleeping

by AceOnStandbi



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Christmas Adjacent, Domestic Fluff, Kind of existential, M/M, One Shot, Santa theories, ends fluffy, klance, late night conversation, post marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28719645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnStandbi/pseuds/AceOnStandbi
Summary: Based on the writersblockbecomesunblocked Christmas Dialogue post, where Lance starts off by questioning Santa Claus and ends up questioning the arbitrary categories of good and bad. Luckily for him, his husband Keith is there to ease his mind.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)





	He Sees You When You're Sleeping

"You know the whole idea of Santa Claus is actually really messed up." 

Keith groaned, all traces of sleep fleeing. He had been on the verge of falling asleep when Lance had broken the kind of silence that only happened in those strange hours of night, in between the morning and the night. 

"A fat man breaks into your house, with presents. Presents specifically tailored to you as a person." Lance continued, unbothered by Keith's apparent disinterest. 

Keith reached over, trying to find the mouth that was disturbing his attempt at getting a decent night's sleep. He ended up whacking Lance in the chest instead, fumbling his way up to the chin as Lance continued speaking. 

"And the fat guy doesn't even make the presents himself. He has his little elves do it. And somehow these elves and the fat guy know if you've met their arbitrary standards of good or bad. I mean how do they know? That just sounds like the world's most complex spy network to me. Does he have cameras in people's houses?"

"Lance my dear, you're ruining Christmas for me." Keith's protests were ignored, as Lance continued talking about his theory. 

"I mean the parents just go along with this too. They perpetuate the scary myth about this man, who watches you all the fucking time -except for potentially the six days after Christmas Eve but before New Year's Day- and judges you and breaks into your house one night a year. Some people even buy those terrifying and creepy elves that you place in your house to further perpetuate the notion that Santa is watching. Waiting for you to fail. My grandmother had one of those elves. Creepiest thing I have ever seen. It's beady little eyes followed me all around the house and I would not be surprised if the thing was actually haunted. Or if grandma had installed a camera in it." Lance shivered before continuing. "Santa's reindeer also have bells on them. Why? Because they're apex predators that's why! You only put bells on pets when you want to alert their prey before your pet can kill them. And Santa's reindeer are _covered_ in bells. There was a movie that covered the subject, but Santa's reindeer were eventually acquitted. They must have gotten better at covering their tracks. I suppose the attempted murder was proven to have involved the reindeer equivalent of like weed though, so maybe that was why they got caught that time."

"Lance. I mean this in the most loving way possible. Shut the fuck up." Keith's hand finally found Lance's mouth and he covered it gently but firmly. They had an early morning tomorrow and Keith needed his sleep. Keith was grouchy when he didn't get enough sleep. Lance knew this. Lance's tongue flicked against Keith's hand, making him flinch but not pull his hand away. "What are we, eight?"

Lance shot him an unamused look, and then bit Keith's hand, starting gently, but increasing the pressure until Keith jerked his hand away. 

"That was very rude," Keith said disdainfully. 

"I mean how do you know you’re a good person?" Lance continued, raising his hands up as though he was trying to literally reach for the answer. "What criteria would this all knowing immortal being use to judge the rest of us humble mortals anyways?"

"Oh so you're a humble mortal now, huh?" Lance shot Keith another unamused look, and Keith let out a gusty sigh before thinking about his answer. "Bad people don’t try to get better." Keith closed his eyes again, hoping that this would be the end of it. "They don't care if they're bad people. Or they're obsessed with making people think they're good without actually trying to follow through on the goodness of their behavior. Like those celebrities you hear about who raise money for charities and then when they actually have to meet the people they do charity for they just get super condescending or rude or whatever."

"But we sell this whole Santa knows if you’re a good person or not, when really the definitions of good and bad really are just arbitrary. I mean think about it. Kids are told that being good means following the rules, and doing what they’re told right? Because adults know best. But we all know there are bad adults out there, who would tell kids to do bad things. But they listened to the adults, like they were told was good. What if you think you’re doing good, but really you aren’t? What if you can’t tell the difference anymore? What if the people you follow tell you you’re doing good things when really you’re doing bad things? There are so many things I didn’t know were bad until someone told me and explained. How can I be sure I know them all?"

Keith sighed, knowing that any hope for a decent night’s sleep was gone. Lance was seriously freaking out now, instead of rambling to the room at large about something he felt was inconsistent with how life should be. And that meant Keith was going to actually have think about an answer, or Lance was going to implode. And then Keith really wasn't going to get any sleep.

"I’m not sure you can know everything Lance. But the point of living is not to know everything there is to know. It’s just to know and to experience as much as you can. We’re all human and we all have limits, which can and will grow and change with us and our growth and situations. Some days you’ll mess up. But the goal is to learn from your mistakes. You’re not ever going to be perfect. But no one should expect you to be perfect. If they do, they’re an asshole. Because all you can do is your best. Some days that’ll look better than other days. The important thing is you tried. Santa knows part of being good is making an effort." Keith traced nonsensical whirling designs on Lance’s back through his pajama top as he spoke, and kissed his forehead lightly. "Now go to sleep." 

Lance smiled, a sight Keith hoped meant they could put this topic to bed. It wasn’t that he disliked Lance’s non sequitur discussions. It was just that sometimes, Lance got philosophical at inconvenient times. It seemed Keith was in luck; Lance pecked him on the cheek and settled in for the night, soon fast asleep again. Keith brushed light hair out of his husband’s eyes and looped his arm around Lance before doing his best to fall asleep and put the question out of his own mind.


End file.
